Finally, something good from the economic downturn!

Times are tough.  But the good news is that it now costs only about a third of what it used to cost to get laid.

That's right, even hookers are offering deep discounts to keep business up... so to speak.

http://www.thestar.com/living/article/646871--recession-means-tough-times-for-sex-workers

Getting a Tattoo? Spel Chek Tht Siht!

I've seen some great art on people's bodies.  It's especially awesome on a hot, young, sexy chick.

Yes it is.

But then you try to add words to the mix.  And unfortunately that steady diet of video games, "Jersey Shore," skipping class to go smoke, and trying to come up with more ways to piss off your parents hasn't helped your spelling skills.

No.  You're not.

And don't rely on the guy at the tattoo parlor to be your spell checker.  He may be able to recreate Van Gogh's "Starry Night" on your back, but he was too busy finding new body parts to pierce to ever get his GED.  Meaning he probably can't spell "GED."

The real "tradgedy"? It'll still be misspelled when she's 80.

So please...  if you're going to add text to your tat, type everything into Microsoft Word and hit the spell check button first.  And learn the goddamn difference between "to," "too," and "two"... and "your" and "you're."   

 Idiot.

That way you don't have to explain that you actually went to Clemson University when your grandchildren ask where the hell Clemons is.

I'm assuming he's not an English major.

Check out this gallery of some geniuses who tried to look like bad asses, and ended up looking like dumb asses.  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/01/28/misspelled-tattoos-perman_n_439993.html

And if you can't spot every single one of the errors in these tattoos, please don't bother getting one of your own.  And please don't reproduce.  You're bringing evolution to a screeching halt.

Happy Birthday, Beer Can!

New Jersey's Gottfried Krueger Brewing Company churned out the world's first beer can in 1935. The experiment took off and American drinkers haven't looked back since -- nowadays choosing cans over bottles for the majority of the 22 gallons of beer they each drink per year, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.

Source: Live Science

You can forever thank Gottfried Krueger for videos like this:



Or get creeped out because of videos like this:

Dungeons? OK. Dragons? Hell no.

Dungeons and Dragons has been banned in Wisconsin prisons... because Waupun prison thinks it promotes gang-related activity.

Have you ever seen the people who play D&D?  They're nerds.  Like this guy:

12-sided die not pictured

That's not a real dagger.  I think it's a paper towel tube covered in duct tape.  Here's what a gang of nerds looks like:

NERDS!!!!!

Not scary.  Unless you're the Alpha Betas and you really want to win the Greek Games. 

Now here's what happens when you have a real gang:

This guy apparently forgot to use his Magic Shield of Alagor before rolling hit points.  What a n00b

See the difference? 
Click the link below for the full story...
http://www.wkowtv.com/global/story.asp?s=11876814

Joe Walsh vs. Joe Walsh

Hey!  How ya DOIN'?

Musician Joe Walsh schools Republican politician Joe Walsh about copyright infringement: http://www.thresq.com/2010/01/joe-walsh-republican-eagles-copyright.html

Dumbest place to be a peeping tom? Strip club.

Hmmm... you just paid the $10 cover to get in to the strip club and now you want to see some naked ladies.  Do you:

A) Grab some dollar bills and head to the stage.
B) Bust out some $20's and get some lapdances.
C) Break into the crawlspace in the ceiling to spy on the already naked women in their dressing room.

Apparently this guy chose poorly: http://blog.seattlepi.com/seattle911/archives/192357.asp

Everything you learned on TV is wrong...

OK, not EVERYTHING.  But there are at least these seven things that you think you know about police procedure that are completely wrong.

http://cdn-www.cracked.com/phpimages/article/0/5/9/17059.jpg?v=1

Remember these the next time you get arrested and demand your phone call.

And know that if that hooker is really a cop - she doesn't have to tell you until you're already in handcuffs.  Jail-type handcuffs, not the fun kind.

Leno = Hitler?

Is Jay Leno the Hitler of Late Night?  This guy makes an interesting argument in that direction...

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704375604575023132215883398.html?mod=googlenews_wsj

Have it your way... if your way involves getting drunk. And you know it does.

You spend a lot of time at bars destroying your liver.  You spend a lot of time eating fast food to destroy your arteries.  Now you can kill two birds (and possibly yourself) with one stone... one delicious flame-broiled stone.

Meet: the Whopper Bar: 
http://www.usatoday.com/money/industries/food/2010-01-21-burger-king-beer_N.htm

Prince + VIkings = WTF?

OK, so I've always known that musical god Prince is from Minneapolis.  It's even an old Chris Rock joke that the only two black people in Minnesota are Prince and Kirby Puckett.

But apparently now the Purple One is a fan of the Purple and Gold.  And as much as we all hate the Vikings, when I heard that Prince - F**KING PRINCE! - the guy who wrote "Let's Go Crazy," "Purple Rain," "Gett Off," and "Pussy Control" had written a song for the Vikes... I thought, "Holy crap.  Prince is awesome.  This song is going to be awesome.  Even if it is about the stupid damn Vikings.  Oh no, what if this song is so good it makes me like the Vikings?"

No worries.

It seems that the Viking Vortex of Suck is doing its damage this year.  First they get Brett Favre.  Then they walk all over the rest of the NFC North (your Packers and my Bears).  And now this...

Wow. The Vikings have actually made Prince suck. I hate the Vikings even more now. And I pray that they lose to the Saints this weekend, so we never have to hear that piece of crap song again.

Colbert Makes the Olympic Speed Skating Team!

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Skate Expectations - Speedskating Race - Shani Davis
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Economy

Ricky Gervais on the Golden Globes

I'm a huge Ricky Gervais fan, and it's great to see him hosting the Golden Globe Awards. I didn't watch the broadcast, but did watch the video below - which shows exactly how nicely he is able to deflate the ordinarily pretentious Hollywood elite.

Kimmel Nails Leno

I'll make no secret of disliking Jay Leno. Or that I'm 100% rooting for Conan O'Brien in the NBC late night battle. And normally I'll never watch anything from Leno's show. But this segment with Jimmy Kimmel (though it starts slowly) ends up with Kimmel landing some great jokes at Jay's expense.

I'm Cuckoo For CoCo

As the battle for NBC's late night lineup continues, the jokes get funnier (at least from Conan.  Jay hasn't been funny in years).

Netflix Origami

I'm on the Netflix 3-at-a-time plan, which means I'm getting a lot of those red envelopes every month.  Netflix is incredible, but I always end up with a lot of those extra envelope flaps that you tear off.  They get recycled, but it's still a lot of waste.

Until these geniuses came up with a bunch of origami designed specifically for the Netflix tear-off flap.

Check it out at  http://www.netflixorigami.com/

Uh Oh...

Spaghetti O's creator (and Wisconsin native) Donald Goerke died today.  I'm going to have some SpaghettiO's with Meatballs in his honor.

http://abcnews.go.com/Business/wireStory?id=9553277

NEW YEAR ON DEMAND!!

I love the New Year On Demand.

Just a sample of the awesome stuff I got to play today because WAPL listeners wanted to hear it:
- Rush - Anthem
- Soundgarden - Rusty Cage
- Black Sabbath - Heaven & Hell
- Talking Heads - Burning Down the House
- Queen - Don't Stop Me Now
- Yes - Roundabout
- Poison - Look What the Cat Dragged In
- Jethro Tull - Aqualung
- Led Zeppelin - When the Levee Breaks

Thanks for all the requests... keep it up all this week!