My Three Songs: 08/31/10

1. Poison - Something To Believe In
2. Nirvana - About a Girl
3. Jimi Hendrix - The Wind Cries Mary

Theme :: There's Something About Mary.  Star of the film, Cameron Diaz, turned 38 yesterday.  Still no word on what the hell Brett Fav-ruh is doing here.

Or if she's still using that same hair gel.

Go Get Her, Ray!

You're hungry for a delicious snack that will get your energy up, but may also bring about the end of the world.  You must choose the form of the sugary Destructor.  So you try to think of the most harmless thing. Something you loved from your childhood. Something that could never ever possibly destroy us.  What just pops into your head?

It's the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

And now, you can finally purchase Stay Puft marshmallows.  They're "gourmet."  They're officially licensed.  And they're caffeinated, which means that you'll be able to stay wide awake through the coming of Gozer the Gozerian (or a screening of Ghostbusters 2).

I just ordered a box for myself.  I'll let you know how they taste in 7-10 business days.

My Three Songs: 08/30/10

1. ZZ Top - Pearl Necklace
2. Ram Jam - Black Betty
3. Aerosmith - Big Ten Inch Record

Theme: Pearl Jam's "Ten" - their debut album was released this week in 1991.

Mario Kart Bike Lanes!

Next time I'm visiting my brother in Portland, OR, I'm bringing my bike.  And I'm aiming for that blue shell.

Note that all the bicyclists avoid the banana.  Awesome!

My Three Songs: 08/27/10

1. Ozzy Osbourne - You Can't Kill Rock and Roll (from the album "Diary of a Madman")
2. AC/DC - If You Want Blood (You Got It)
3. Judas Priest - Breaking the Law

Theme: Emmy nominees.  Mad Men, True Blood, and Breaking Bad (along with Lost, Dexter, and The Good Wife) are all nominated for Outstanding Drama Series awards for the broadcast this Sunday on NBC.

Fried BEER???

I need to try this.  I really, really need to try this.

Fried Beer - Beer-filled pretzel pocket is deep-fried to a golden brown. One bite and the escaping beer serves as a dipping sauce. 21 and over, ID required.

 Gotta go to Texas to get 'em though... Here's the link.

Ray Bradbury: One Lucky Author

I'm a big fan of The Martian Chronicles and Fahrenheit 451... but this girl really loves Ray Bradbury.  NOT Safe For Work!

My Three Songs: 08/26/10

1. Rush - Red Barchetta (from "Moving Pictures")
2. Motley Crue - Home Sweet Home
3. George Thorogood - I Drink Alone

Theme: Home Alone.  The movie's star, Macaulay Culkin, turns 30 today.

My Three Songs: 08/25/10

1. George Thorogood - I Drink Alone (from the album, "Maverick")
2. Van Halen - Top of the World
3. Guns n' Roses - Live & Let Die

Theme: Top Gun.  Tom Skerritt, who played Viper in Top Gun, turns 77 today.

Top 10 Strip Club Songs of All Time

If you've been to a strip club... ever... you've heard at least 3 of these.  Spike's web site came up with the list below. I must say that the hip-hop stuff probably won't hold up over time, but most of the rock tracks on the list will last forever.

10. Marilyn Manson - Beautiful People
9. Nelly - Hot in Herre
8. Kelis - Milkshake
7. AC/DC - You Shook Me All Night Long
6. Guess Who (or Lenny Kravitz) - American Woman
5. 50 Cent - Candy Shop
4. Motley Crue - Girls Girls Girls
3. Warrant - Cherry Pie
2. Nine Inch Nails - Closer
1. Def Leppard - Pour Some Sugar On Me

Songs I'd add to the list:

• Buckcherry - Crazy Bitch
• Nickelback - Something In Your Mouth
• Van Halen - Drop Dead Legs
• Van Halen - Poundcake
• Cavo - Champagne

What other songs do you think are strip club classics?

My Three Songs: 08/24/10

1. Lynyrd Skynyrd - Gimme Three Steps
2. Pearl Jam - Better Man
3. Sammy Hagar - Baby's On Fire

Theme: Three Men and a Baby.  Today is actor Steve Guttenberg's 52nd birthday.  And rumor is that they're working on another Three Men... sequel.

Aliens vs. Predator vs. Ted Nugent

The web site Comics Alliance has been putting together "Great Comics That Never Happened," some of the best comic books that I would definitely have read if they ever really existed.  Make sure you check out Batman & Motorhead, the lesbian wedding of Mary Jane Parker and Black Cat, and my favorite, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen featuring Doc Brown, B.A.Baracus, and MacGyver.  Scope them all out for yourself right here.

My Three Songs: 08/23/10

1. Boston - Don't Look Back
2. Nirvana - In Bloom
3. Led Zeppelin - Black Dog

Theme: Back In Black.  AC/DC's first album with singer Brian Johnson came out on this day in 1980.

My Three Songs: 08/20/10

1. Judas Priest - Breakin' the Law
2. Sammy Hagar - Little White Lie
3. Def Leppard - Rocket

Theme: Roger Clemens indicted for lying to Congress about steroid use.

My Three Songs: 08/19/10

1. Rush - Limelight (from Moving Pictures)
2. Black Sabbath - Sweet Leaf
3. Night Ranger - You Can Still Rock in America (from Midnight Madness)

Theme: Reefer Madness.   The classic anti-marijuana movie is getting roasted during a special nationwide live Rifftrax event at area theaters.  Click here for more info.

Reefer Madness Tomorrow Night!

If you were a fan of Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3K) during its decade-plus run on Comedy Central and Sci-Fi, you need to know what the cast is up to now.

First, there's Cinematic Titanic.  You've got Joel Hodgson (Joel), Frank Conniff (TV's Frank), Trace Beaulieu (Crow/Dr. Forrester), Mary Jo Pehl (Pearl Forrester), and J. Elvis Weinstein (Dr. Ernhardt) from MST3K, riffing on even more lost B-movies, complete with shadowrama silhouettes.  I saw them live in Milwaukee earlier this year, and despite the lack of 'bots and the Satellite of Love, the group is still in top form.

And then there's Rifftrax.  Michael J. Nelson (Mike), Kevin Murphy (Tom Servo), and Bill Corbett (Crow 2.0) are still riffing, but more often over the top of new classics like the Star Wars series, Titanic, Transformers, Avatar, the Lord of the Rings series, and more.  Instead of licensing the rights to the entire film, the Rifftrax crew just lets you download their riffing in an MP3 that you can sync up to your own DVD to laugh your ass off.

And tomorrow night, Thursday, August 19th, Rifftrax is taking their show live on the road to 500 theaters across the country - all at the same time - to riff on the 1938 anti-marijuana classic, Reefer Madness.  Check out details and buy your tickets here.  It'll be showing at Regal Cinemas in Appleton and also at Bay Park Cinemas in Green Bay.  You know you'll see me there.

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My Three Songs: 08/18/10

1. Metallica - One
2. REO Speedwagon - Golden Country
3. Van Halen - Top of the World

Theme :: The #1 Country in the World... which (according to Newsweek magazine) happens to be the land of my ancestors, Finland!

And now for something completely related...

So You Want to Be a Super-Villain?

Tired of the everyday grind?  Looking for quick riches, bloody vengeance, social anarchy, or just plain old worldwide domination?  Well perhaps it's time you considered the career of a super-villain!

Before you start off on your new life of kidnapping, theft, blackmail, murder, and overly-intricate schemes, there are several things you need to consider.

Don't make your first foray into villainy your last!  Check out this handy list of "5 Things to Consider Before Beginning Your Super-Villain Career."

My Three Songs: 08/17/10

1. J. Geils Band - Centerfold
2. Scorpions - Wind of Change
3. Guns n' Roses - Patience

Theme :: Songs with whistling.

My Three Songs: 08/16/10

1. The Who - Won't Get Fooled Again
2. Mountain - Mississippi Queen
3. Jimi Hendrix - Purple Haze

Theme :: Artists that performed at Woodstock.  The "3 Days of Peace and Music" kicked off on this week in 1969.

My Three Songs: 08/13/10

1. Queen - We Will Rock You / We Are the Champions
2. Alice in Chains - Down in a Hole
3. Dire Straits - Sultans of Swing

Theme :: The PGA Championship taking place this week at Whistling Straits in Kohler, Wisconsin.

Yes, this is Wisconsin.

My Three Songs: 08/12/10

1. Pearl Jam - Black
2. Led Zeppelin - Over the Hills and Far Away
3. Montrose - Bad Motor Scooter

Theme :: Sturgis.  The 70th annual motorcycle enthusiasts convention is going on in the Black Hills of South Dakota this week.

Best reason to go to Sturgis.

My Three Songs: 08/11/10

1. Journey - Wheel in the Sky
2. The Cult - Fire Woman
3. BoDeans - Good Work

Theme :: Fireworks!  The Pyrotechnics Guild International convention is going on this week at WIR in Kaukauna. 

The Geek Solar System

For all the nerds out there (like me)...

click to embiggen

My Three Songs: 08/10/10

1. Black Sabbath - War Pigs
2. Deep Purple - Woman From Tokyo
3. Cheap Trick - Surrender

Theme: Today is the anniversary of Japan's 1945 surrender to the U.S. to end World War II.

So, Madden 11 came out today.  Picked up my copy at Best Buy this morning on my way in to work.  And now I just get to sit and wait... until... work... is... over...

Here I am, looking at Drew Brees on the cover, reaching back and wanting to throw a long pass.  But he can't.  Because first I must put the game into my Xbox.  My Xbox is home.  I am at work.  Drew's arm is getting tired.

Come 6pm, you'll find me on my couch trying to do what my favorite NFL franchise can't seem to: take the Bears to the Super Bowl. 

More Bad Facial Hair

Again from Cracked, it's the 6 Most Atrocious Uses of Facial Hair in Music History.  Come for the chin whip.  Stay for the Oates. 

Click here to be entertained.

My Three Songs: 08/09/10

1. Def Leppard - Rocket
2. Ozzy Osbourne - Bark at the Moon
3. Bad Company - Shooting Star

Theme :: Rock Drummers.  Ringo Starr of The Beatles, Keith Moon of The Who, and Rikki Rockett of Poison.  Mr. Rockett celebrated his 49th birthday yesterday.

YouTube: The Movie?

So there's a movie coming out called The Social Network about the founders of Facebook.  Here's the trailer:


Of course if the movie is successful, you know Hollywood will be making a glut of internet origin story films over the next few years.  The staff at Cracked have already done the trailer for the YouTube movie.  Enjoy.

Hey, Nice Mustache!

Thinking of growing a mustache?  Don't.  Here are the 10 styles of mustache that you should completely avoid.

10 Mustache Styles That Must Be Stopped

My Three Songs: 08/06/10

1. Van Halen - Little Guitars
2. Aerosmith - Living On The Edge
3. U2 - Sunday Bloody Sunday

THEME :: The Edge from U2, who celebrates his 49th birthday on Sunday.

Video Games + Beer = What Elwood Wants for Christmas

Remember how cool it was when that one friend in college built himself a "kegerator," the refrigerator for a beer keg, complete with tapper on the door, so you never had to pump and pour?

Remember how cool it was when one of your buddies got his hands on an old-school arcade console, allowing you to play Ms. Pac-Man, Street Fighter, or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles without plunking quarters in every time you died?

Well, now take that first feeling of awesomeness, and multiply it exponentially with the second feeling of awesomeness.  What will you get?

Behold the incredible "Gamerator."  It's the full sized arcade cabinet... with a kegerator inside.  All for the low, low price of just $3,499.

Just check out some of the features as listed on their website:

• Access to over 1,000 classic and current arcade games.
• A refrigerated interior capable of holding a pony keg of domestic beer (international options also available)
• A 26 inch flat-panel HDTV 
• Two conveniently-placed cup holders to house your beverage while playing

So hopefully I'll be playing Contra, Mortal Kombat, and Rampage World Tour while enjoying freshly-poured, ice-cold beer sometime in the near future.  Or if you get one first, please invite me over.

My Three Songs: 08/05/10

1. Van Halen - Dance the Night Away
2. The Cars - Moving in Stereo
3. Whitesnake - Here I Go Again

Theme: Tawny Kitaen, the vixen who danced on top of the cars in Whitesnake's "Here I Go Again" music video.  Enjoy...

"Machete" Red-Band Trailer

If you saw "Grindhouse," the Quentin Tarantino / Robert Rodriguez double-feature of "Planet Terror" and "Death Proof," you also got a fake trailer for a movie called "Machete."

Well, in case you haven't heard, Robert Rodriguez is turning his own fake trailer into a real movie.  Permanent badass Danny Trejo stars as the title character and... wow... just... wow.

Check out the red band (meaning definitely NSFW) trailer below.

More Machete Videos

My Three Songs: 08/04/10

1. Van Halen - Everybody Wants Some (from "Women and Children First")
2. Pearl Jam - Daughter
3. Billy Idol - White Wedding

THEME: Former First Daughter Chelsea Clinton's wedding to Marc Mezvinsky this past weekend.

Don't Try This At Home...

... assuming your home features a 10-story cliff overlooking the ocean.

No, that's not a bunch of idiots jumping lemming-style after each other.  It's a composite of one idiot's leap off of a 30-meter cliff in Cornwall, England.

Read more about this stupid hobby here.

My Three Songs: 08/03/10

1. J. Geils Band - Love Stinks
2. Queensryche - Silent Lucidity
3. Bob Seger - Her Strut

THEME: Jay and Silent Bob, the characters featured in most of director Kevin Smith's movies.  Smith turned 40 yesterday.

Silence of the Lambs: the Lego Musical

It puts the lotion on its skin...

My Three Songs: 08/02/10

1. BLUE Oyster Cult - Don't Fear the Reaper
2. Led Zeppelin - The LEMON Song
3. GREAT WHITE - Once Bitten, Twice Shy

THEME: Types of Sharks.  Shark Week begins today on Discovery Channel.

Fatal Attraction: The Musical

Seriously... these are awesome.

6 Ways Your Office Is Literally Killing You

Just in case you needed another six reasons to not want to go to work today...

Six Ways Your Office Is Literally Killing You