Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack... and boogers and mold and rat feces.

Mmm... enjoy that ballpark frank with a side of relish and e.coli.  This week ESPN posted the inspection reports from vendors at all MLB, NFL, NBA, and NHL venues.  And the results are not good.

Lambeau Field
Green Bay Packers
Vendors with critical violations: 18%
Inspection report excerpt: Two locations were cited after inspectors found an employee who "did not wash hands after blowing nose or eating food prior to handling customer food or ice."

Miller Park
Milwaukee Brewers
Vendors with critical violations: 33%
Inspection report excerpt: Mold was growing in ice machines at six locations.

So just remember that you've got a 1-in-5 chance of getting some dude's slobber on your nachos next time you're at a Packers game, and a 1-in-3 chance that your soda is being cooled with fungus when you're cheering on the Brewers.

By comparison, Wrigley Field had zero violations, despite the fact that I have to pee in a trough every time I buy bleacher tickets. 12% of vendors at Soldier Field had violations, almost all due to a lack of hot water. But I'd rather deal with cold water than a snot-covered bratwurst any day.

Check out the complete list here.

And remember to never, ever, under any circumstances eat anything in Florida.  Or at a Wizards game.