AC/DC Concert Recap

Had an incredible time last night at the AC/DC concert at the Bradley Center in Milwaukee.  I was blogging live from the show, and you could scroll through my page to find all the minuscule entries, but I figured I'd re-run them all for you here with a little added explanation (in italics) and some photos that I didn't take (and probably aren't even from the Milwaukee show) but help illustrate what was happening on stage.

5:21pm
On the way to AC/DC in Milwaukee. I'll be updating my blog via text message from the show. Let there be rock!

Just before leaving my house, did this as a test post to make sure things were sending properly from my phone to the web.  They were.

8:21pm
In my seat. Beer in hand. Ready to rock! 

Missed the opening act - no idea who played.  Those 400-level seats at the Bradley Center gave me some serious vertigo when I first sat down.  The beer helped.

8:43pm
Back in black 3 songs in. These are the dirty old men of rock!

Opened with Rock n' Roll Train.  Brian Johnson reminded me of the uncle at a wedding who's half-dancing around all night saying dirty things and pinching girls asses.  Basically what I want to be in 30 years.

8:46pm
Angus has the energy of a 14 year old

Seriously.  If you couldn't see the effects of age on his face and hair, you'd think he was still a teenager from all the running, jumping, and Chuck Berry duckwalking.  

8:55pm
Angus did the scream at the end of dirty deeds! Fucking awesome

Yes, it was.  Big closeup on the screen of Angus's face going "Yaaaaaaaahhhh!" as the crowd went nuts.

8:59pm
THUNDER!

Thunderstruck of course.  They even had a plexiglass section of the stage so Angus could do his little duckwalk across the stage while the camera shot him from below just like the video.  Nice.

9:15pm
More beer the jack and an Angus striptease

Grabbed another beer and came back just in time to hear The Jack, complete with the full Angus Young striptease down to his AC/DC boxer briefs.  

 9:20pm
Brian just rang hells bells


Note that I was using less punctuation, capitalization and proper grammar as the night went on.  Part laziness.  Part not wanting to miss any of the show while texting.  Part beer.

Anyway - Brian Johnson was doing this long goofy dance down the runway that jutted out into the crowd, pumping up the audience before turning back to the stage in a full sprint, leaping into the air and grabbing the rope that was hanging from the big AC/DC "Hells Bell" that had snuck down above the stage while I was paying attention to Brian's antics.  And the crowd goes wild.

9:26pm
Hundreds of blinking devil horns in the crowd. Looks like blinky demon eyes. Weird.

When I walked into the Bradley Center I saw this girl wearing blinky devil horns and I thought, "Hey, that's clever.  She must have saved those from Halloween."  Of course once I got to my seat I then saw hundreds of blinking devil horns all around the arena, and guys walking around selling the devil horns by displaying on a stick like the cotton candy guy at a ballpark. Which was all fine and good until the place is pitch black and all these little blinking horns end up looking like demon's eyes peering through the darkness.  Especially freaky during Hells Bells.

9:27pm
Brian Johnson's neck looks like it might explode at any moment.

I'm amazed that he can still sing like that after all these years.  You can see the veins straining out like crazy.

9:33pm
Preview of iron man 2 soundtrack- here comes war machine!   

Great song from the Black Ice album and also on the upcoming Iron Man 2 Soundtrack (win a copy from WAPL this weekend!)  

9:37pm
Their drummer uses Sonor drums. I play Sonor drums. I should be in AC/DC.

Seems like sound logic, right?

9:41pm  
She told me to come but i was already there.

Yes, it was time for "You Shook Me All Night Long."

9:49pm
Oi! Oi! Massive flames and TNT. Then a whole lotta Rosie
9:50pm
Btw yes they do have the full size Rosie balloon!

I loved the stage production stuff for this show.  Giant runaway train crashed the back of the set to start the show.  The big Hells Bell getting rung.  Massive flames shooting out during T.N.T.  And of course the classic Whole Lotta Rosie enormous inflatable.  That stuff makes huge bands like AC/DC, the Stones, or Pink Floyd seem even larger when they're already larger than life.


9:54pm
LET THERE BE ROCK!!!

I love this song.  So glad they played it at the show.

10:03pm
Angus shot his load - of Confetti  
10:04pm
Angus is guitar god and satanic minion.
10:07pm
Satan has spawned Angus Young as a guitar god. Hail satan.

Incredible solo out to a platform in the middle of the Bradley Center that raised up above the crowd.  The guy is simply amazing.

10:12pm

From the depths of hell to the highway to hell.  
10:14pm 
Angus sprouted demon horns. Nice.


For the encore, Angus (wearing his own non-blinking devil horns) rose up from below the stage in a cloud of smoke and lights to lead us all on a trip down the Highway to Hell.  Saw an awesome electronic billboard on the way to the show along highway 41 near Milwaukee - area paving company sign that said "Highway to Hell Now Being Paved."  Great one to tie in on the night of the show. 

10:17pm
Time for a 21 gun salute

For Those About To Rock (We Salute You) complete with six massive cannons to close out the show.

10:36pm 
Real cannons. Ears bleeding. Awesome show. Good night.

Seriously, those were real cannons blasting louder than anything else last night.  Felt like the walls were shaking and the roof might come caving in it was so loud.  Such an incredible show - definitely in my Top Ten Concerts list... I'll have to do some consideration to figure out exactly where it lands.  

10:57pm
Stuck in the parking garage. Gonna be awhile.


Parked on the sixth level of the parking garage.  There was no movement at all so I went and grabbed a delicious but very spicy steak quesadilla at Center Court across the street from the BC.  As always a long drive home so late at night but totally worth it for a concert of that caliber.  

Stuck in the parking garage. Gonna be awhile.

Real cannons. Ears bleeding. Awesome show. Good night.

Time for a 21 gun salute

Angus sprouted demon horns. Nice.

From the depths of hell to the highway to hell.

Satan has spawned Angus young as a guitar god. Hail satan.

Angus is guitar god and satanic minion.

Angus shot his load - of Confetti

LET THERE BE ROCK!!!

Btw yes they do have the full size Rosie balloon!

Oi! Oi! Massive flames and TNT. Then a whole lotta Rosie

She told me to come but i was already there.

Their drummer uses Sonor drums. I play Sonor drums. I should be in AC/DC.

Preview of iron man 2 soundtrack- here comes war machine!

Brian Johnson's neck looks like it might explode at any moment.

Hundreds of blinking devil horns in the crowd. Looks like blinky demon eyes. Weird.

Brian just rang hells bells

More beer the jack and an Angus striptease

THUNDER!

Angus did the scream at the end of dirty deeds! Fucking awesome

Angus has the energy of a 14 year old

Back in black 3 songs in. These are the dirty old men of rock!

Back in black 3 songs in. These are the dirty MKE of

In my seat. Beer in hand. Ready to rock!

On the way to AC/DC in Milwaukee. I'll be updating my blog via text message from the show. Let there be rock!

AC/DC Tonight!!!!!!!

Highway to Hell YES!!!   Heading to AC/DC at the Bradley Center tonight and couldn't be more excited.  AC/DC is one of the bands on my "Concert Bucket List" - bands I need to see before I (or they) die.

Enjoying all the great AC/DC requests during the Whistle today... plus requests from your Concert Bucket Lists... I happened across this "Bucket List" of a different kind:  the Sex Bucket List.  Places to have sex before you die.

It's like a Dr. Seuss book... doing it in a box... with a fox... on a train... in the rain...

Happy Birthday Billy Dee Williams

You know him as swarthy space pimp Lando Calrissian from the Star Wars movies...

"You should join me in Cloud City, because you look like an angel."

...or as Gayle Sayers from "Brian's Song." 

James Caan gets cancer and dies.  Billy Dee makes it OK for dudes to cry.

He also played Harvey Dent in the movie Batman. 

No, not that Harvey Dent (although if it had been, they definitely should have gotten the Best Makeup Effects Oscar).  I'm talking Harvey from the 1989 Batman with Michael Keaton and Jack Nicholson.  The one before Tim Burton sucked.

 "I've just made a deal that'll keep the Empire out of here forever."

But I may love Billy Dee Williams most of all as the pitchman for Colt 45 Malt Liquor.

Who needs Sex Panther Cologne (60% of the time, it works all the time) when you've got Colt 45?

I was nowhere near old enough to drink when Colt 45 used to run TV ads.  But I still remember how cool Billy Dee Williams was.  See for yourself:

That's smooth Billy Dee.  Very smooth.

I have no idea what's happening in this one. It makes no sense at all.

Fab 5 Freddy? Apparently this one ran on MTV a lot because it looks like a 90's rap video.

April Fools' from ABC

Some great April Fools' Day promo graphics on ABC.com

The Lost Alarm Clock

Check out this awesome Lost "Dharma Initiative" alarm clockThe snooze button you have to push every 108 minutes... hatches, polar bears, and smoke monsters not included.  Does not allow you to travel through time.

Check it out and buy one for yourself at www.ThinkGeek.com

Guess what Elwood wants for Xmas. Wait, that's too far away... make it Easter.

Welcome to the Handsome Men's Club

Mad Men Action Figures... Booze Not Included

Your favorite Mad Men characters are being turned into Barbie dolls.
In July, you'll be able to own your own plastic versions of "Don" and "Betty Draper" (Jon Hamm and January Jones), "Roger Sterling" (John Slattery) and "Joan Holloway" (Christina Hendricks). The dolls, which will set you back 74-95 each, come with such accessories as briefcases, hats and padded undergarments. Cigarettes and martini glasses are not included.

Ahh the dirty things I'll make Betty and Joan do to each other...

I'm Cuckoo for CoCo... LIVE

Yes!  Conan O'Brien is doing a live theater tour entitled, "The Legally Prohibited From Being Funny on Television Tour."

Good news: Coming to Chicago. 
Bad news: I can't go.

Check Conan's web site for more info and to buy tickets!

Tron Legacy trailer... in HD.

Oh hell yes... and the movie comes out on the day after my birthday.  Awesome.
Click here for the Tron Legacy trailer.

Go Marquette!

Heading to the Marquette v. Notre Dame game tomorrow with my brother Jeff. He mentioned the Buzz Williams dance moves today when he was on the air with me.   Check them out here.

Anthony Bourdain on Yo Gabba Gabba

If you've never seen the children's show "Yo Gabba Gabba" you either:
A.) don't have small children.
   - or -
B.) don't smoke weed.

You should probably check the show out anyway.  It's absolutely insane.  Educational with people in brightly colored costumes teaching kids cool lessons about sharing and stuff like that.  Plus weird songs.  And awesome guest stars.  And children dancing their asses off.  Think Sesame Street for the new millennium.  Plus Biz's Beat of the Day.

Well, Anthony Bourdain - acclaimed author and star of the Travel Channel show "No Reservations" - will be making a guest appearance as Dr. Tony on "Yo Gabba Gabba" on March 10th.  Bourdain is also coming to the Weidner Center on June 11th - listen to Rick and Len next week to win tickets.  I'm assuming the Weidner show will be more "No Reservations" and very little "Yo Gabba Gabba."

Check out this video of Dr. Tony:

Tony Stark can suck it.

Who needs Iron Man when you can fly around in your own jet pack?  It's about damned time.  The personal jetpack is finally here.  And it looks awesome.  I'm saving my money right now...


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/australiaandthepacific/newzealand/7307195/Flying-into-the-future-New-Zealand-company-to-make-personal-jet-packs.html

Not News.

The News is important.  The News lets you and me know the important things going on in the world, our country, and our towns.  The News explains complicated issues.  The News provides facts, objectively, that you and I can draw our own conclusions from.

Unfortunately, far too often the media outlets that are supposed to be providing The News to us, instead spoon feed us "news" that isn't important to the world, country, town, or my life.  It's "news" that is too lazy to explain complicated issues.  Or worse, don't even cover it because it's too complicated for some lazy reporters to figure out themselves.  It's "news" that substitutes ridiculous personal opinions for facts.  It's "news" that allows someone without credentials or any fact-based data an equal amount (and often greater amount) of airtime as a respected expert with mountains of well-researched scientific data.

Enough of my rant.  Check out this far more amusing look at five things the media loves to pretend are news.

Are You Raising a Douchebag? Yes.

It's not your job to be your kid's friend.  It's your job to be a parent.  Great article from Details magazine here.

You Will Never Pay Off Your Credit Cards

Courtesy of Cracked.com:

Having real credit card issues?  Try getting into a Debt Management Plan (DMP) through organizations like Money Management International.  They'll negotiate with credit card companies to get your interest rates down to nothing (or almost nothing), lower your minimum payments, and help you make your payments on time.  I've been working with them personally for about 5 years and will have what started out at around $30,000 in credit card debt paid off this summer.

Marijuana vs. Crystal Meth: the MasterDebaters

Paris Hilton Brazillian Beer Commercial

Apparently the people of Brazil are also ceding that Americans are hotter than the rest of the world. In a new beer commercial, they're showing Paris Hilton dancing around with a can of beer while the entire nation of Brazil watches on, drooling. I can't tell if they're drooling over Paris Hilton or over the beer. Both look tasty.

Check out the commercial for Devassa Bem Loura beer from Brazil. Devassa means "Libertine." Bem Loura means "very blonde." Appropriate.

Follow the Olympics even closer

Following Team USA in the Winter Olympics, but want to know even more?

Check out http://teamusanews.org/ to get access to the latest info and will receive exclusive updates throughout the games.

Happy Presidents' Day!

Jesus, Kirk, and Vinny

Imagine if Jesus, James T. Kirk, and Vincent Van Gogh were roommates who hung out and watched a lot of TV.  And blogged about it.

Well, there's no need to imagine... because the blog exists.  It's strange, but oddly compelling.  Check it out at http://jesuskirkandvinny.com/

Gays in the military? Fine. But keep those homosexuals out.

Further proof that the world is filled with stupid people.

A new poll found that 70% of Americans feel that gay men and lesbians should be allowed to serve in the military.  But that poll also found that only 59% of Americans feel that homosexuals should be allowed to serve in the military.

Which means that at least 11% of Americans don't understand that "homosexual" means exactly the same as "gay" or "lesbian." 

Here's the story: http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/02/11/new-poll-shows-support-for-repeal-of-dont-ask-dont-tell/

Thirsty? Pop a Böner!

That's Böner beer to you.

Check out the story of how one guy's novelty T-shirt has become  a booming beer business.

Or check out their web site at www.boner-beer.com

How many feet in a mile, again?

We all know that the United States doesn't use the metric system.  I'm 5 feet 11 inches tall, weigh 185 pounds, and my normal body temperature is 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit.  I drive 75 miles per hour on the highway, live about 3 miles from work, buy milk and gasoline by the gallon, and buy beer in 12 fluid ounce bottles. 

I know what most of that means.  But it's also one of the stupidest ways of dividing units, using some odd combination of threes, eights, twelves, and who knows what else.  12 inches in a foot.  3 feet in a yard.  5,280 feet in a mile. 43,560 square feet in an acre.  8 oz. in a cup. 4 cups in a quart.  4 quarts in a gallon, which ends up being 128 oz.  And those are fluid ounces, measuring volume... not regular ounces which measure weight.  There are 16 ounces in a pound.  And 2000 pounds in a ton.  And don't forget that water freezes at 32 degrees Fahrenheit and boils at 212 degrees Fahrenheit.  Who came up with this crap?

 Then there's the metric system.  Everything is based on tens, and hundreds, and thousands (and tenths, and hundredths, and thousandths, etc.)  Centimeters in a meter?  100.  Meters in a kilometer?  1000.  Grams in a kilogram?  1000.  Kilograms in a metric ton?  1000.  Milliliters in a liter?  1000.  Water freezes at 0 and boils at 100 on the Celsius scale.  It's insanely easy. 

And it would make you feel better about yourself!  Your fat ass weighs 250 pounds?  Not anymore!  You're just 113 kilograms!  It's only 30 degrees outside?  Well strip down to your bikinis ladies, because 30 Celsius is what used to be 86 Fahrenheit.  Can't drive 55mph?  Well now you're driving 88kph... and when this baby hits 88kph, you're going to see some serious sh....

But you're saying, "Elwood, I don't understand the U.S. system any more than you.  But we must not be alone in the world.  I know some countries in Europe use the metric system... but we don't want to be like those cheese-eating surrender monkeys in France, do we?"

To which I respond firstly with this link explaining why France is a bigger bad ass country when it comes to fighting wars than you ever realized.

Secondly, I will respond by admitting that, no, we are not the only country in the world that hasn't adopted the metric system yet.  Here's the list of all the others:

• Burma
• Liberia

That's it.  And just to help illustrate the point further... a map.

For once, it is easier being green.

Yep.  We're almost all alone in the world.  And it just makes us look stubborn for not changing.  And stupid every time an American tourist goes anywhere in the world and can't figure out an item's size, how much it weighs, the next day's weather forecast, the distance to their next location, and what speed to drive to get there. 

Unless you're traveling to Liberia or Burma.  In which case you'll be just fine.

Why can't our protesters be more like they are in the Ukraine?

All I know about the Ukraine is that it used to be a part of the USSR, and that it was the downfall of an epic game of Risk between Kramer and Newman in an episode of Seinfeld.



I now also know that whatever the political situation is in Ukraine, I want to hop right in the middle of it and motorboat that sonofabitch.

A group of topless women (with strategically placed tape) stormed into a Ukrainian polling place to protest... something. I'm not sure what exactly. I keep trying to read the entire article here, but get distracted by the perkiness every time. Every round, firm, magnificent time.

Your ideas intrigue me. I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter.

Do You Like Waffles?

From the guy who brought you the iPad/Nachos song...

Sarah Palin's Crib Notes

The "Future of the Republican Party" - the woman that some members of the right wing think will be the savior of their political ideals... and the savior of this country some day - isn't smart enough to remember her own talking points.

At the Tea Party Convention over the weekend, the former Vice-Presidential Candidate and former Governor of Alaska had to check the crib notes on her hand in order to answer basic questions.

Written on her hand:

• Energy
• Budget Tax Cuts
• Lift American Spirits

Listen, I understand the need for politicians to use notes or teleprompters when speaking in public.  But that's for a carefully worded speech, or occasionally just to make sure they have their facts straight (like quoting the statistics from an important economic study).  But when you're not bright enough to remember three things... three really simple things (again: Energy, Tax Cuts, Lift American Spirits) and you have to resort to methods used by high school freshmen to cheat on their history exam... maybe you're not exactly the type of person who should be considered to run the most powerful nation in the world!

Just my opinion.  Or at least I think it's my opinion... the notes on my palm are a little smudged.

Read more on the story here: http://chattahbox.com/us/2010/02/07/talk-to-the-answers-on-sarah-palins-hand/

Best Super Bowl Ad

And the Elwood Award for Best Super Bowl Ad of 2010 goes to...

The Late Show with David Letterman

OK, so it's a station promo and not even a real paid-for ad. But it was still funnier than anything else last night.

And if I have to see those stupid, creepy, talking E-Trade babies one more time I'm going to punch my television screen. Maybe not my new 42" HD plasma, but I'll go upstairs and punch my old worn down 13".

Catchiest Jingle Ever... This Week

I had almost no desire to get an iPad. Until I just saw this very strange yet undeniably catchy jingle/commercial/YouTube mashup thingy.

Now I totally want an iPad. And some nachos.

It's About Damn Time

Ketchup packets suck.   They never have enough ketchup in them, so you have to use about 12 to get through a small order of french fries.  And they're messy.  You always end up with ketchup on your fingers, and you can't use the packets to dip your fries in when you're in the car.

Well the people at Heinz have finally realized that they can use existing technology (those dipping containers that have been around for 25+ years for BBQ, Sweet & Sour, Ranch, Honey Mustard, and a few dozen other condiments) to finally make ketchup more easily available for the masses.  Read the full story with the link below.

http://abcnews.go.com/Business/wireStory?id=9743988

For Shame Wisconsin... For Shame...

Men's Health magazine has published a list of the "drunkest" cities in America... and we're not even on the list.  C'mon Green Bay!  C'mon Appleon and Oshkosh!  Get your drunk on!

Sure Madison made the list at #15... but they have college students, and that's just youthful binge drinking.  We've got full-grown, full-blown alcoholism up here that needs to be recognized!  Hell, Milwaukee was all the way down at #58.

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/ondeadline/post/2010/02/fresno-calif--tops-list-of-drunkest-us-cities-boston-is-last/1

Get some drinking done this weekend, and write to the publishers of Men's Health in your sloppy, drunken scrawl.  Let them know that we want some respect!

Get this chick some meds

Hey, you remember how you cried at the end of Old Yeller when they had to shoot the dog? And when Kevin Costner asks his dad to have a catch at the end of Field of Dreams, how that brings a tear to your eye? Or how around twelve scenes in Schindler's List had you reaching for the Kleenex?

And when Darth Vader dies at the end of Return of the Jedi, remember how you absolutely balled your eyes out? Wait. You didn't cry during a Star Wars movie? That's right... because no one does. Except this guy's wife:

Daisy Duke... what the hell happened?

Daisy Duke.  Hotness.

Sure, the Duke Boys had fun getting away from Boss Hog.  And the General Lee jumping over creeks and crashing through stuff was always cool. 

Them Duke Boys sure are in a mess o' trouble this time...

But you know the real reason you watched The Dukes of Hazzard was for Daisy and her short shorts.

One more photo for good measure.

Please hold on to that image.  Look at the images above one more time.  Because they're about to be destroyed forever.

Seriously. 
Turn away now. 
While you still can.

Sorry about that.  I warned you.

You can read more about what Catherine Bach (aka Daisy Duke) has been up to lately here: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1248044/Dukes-Hazzards-Catherine-Bach-swaps-hotpants-comfy-sweatpants.html

Reason #235 to NOT get married: Tiger Woods

Wanna know what Tiger Woods' problem is?  It's not that he's a "sex addict" (the whole sex rehab thing is ridiculous anyway).  It's that he's married.

Wanna bang a different girl (or several different girls... or multiple girls at once) in every city on the PGA Tour?  Wanna send the dirtiest, filthiest, most lurid text messages imaginable?  Want to do it all and never have to worry about getting caught?

Then don't get married.  If you're not married, no one cares.  Tired of one blonde model?  Wanna nail a brunette one this time?  Or that cocktail waitress who says she has a sex swing in her bedroom?  If you're single, you can.  No wife at home means no one to take half your money when she finds out. And no reporter is going to think "Single Guy Gets Laid" will win him a Pulitzer.

Just ask somewhat douchey, but total poon-hound John Mayer.  He sums it up nicely here:
http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2010/02/03/2010-02-03_john_mayer_tiger_woods_problems_come_from_him_being_married.html

From the Board Room to the Bathroom

Go ahead and wipe your ass with those stupid memos your boss keeps sending you. Literally.

A new invention can turn regular paper into toilet paper. Check out the story here: http://dvice.com/archives/2010/01/white-goat-weir.php

Pregnant from Oral Sex? Yep.

OK, this is an insanely weird set of circumstances, but YES, a girl got pregnant after performing oral sex.

And then getting stabbed in the abdomen by her ex-boyfriend who walked in and caught her with the new guy.

Oh, and they know it's not from actual sex because she has no vagina.   Seriously.

Read the whole crazy thing here: http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/discoblog/2010/02/01/ncbi-rofl-thats-one-miraculous-conception/

Finally, something good from the economic downturn!

Times are tough.  But the good news is that it now costs only about a third of what it used to cost to get laid.

That's right, even hookers are offering deep discounts to keep business up... so to speak.

http://www.thestar.com/living/article/646871--recession-means-tough-times-for-sex-workers

Getting a Tattoo? Spel Chek Tht Siht!

I've seen some great art on people's bodies.  It's especially awesome on a hot, young, sexy chick.

Yes it is.

But then you try to add words to the mix.  And unfortunately that steady diet of video games, "Jersey Shore," skipping class to go smoke, and trying to come up with more ways to piss off your parents hasn't helped your spelling skills.

No.  You're not.

And don't rely on the guy at the tattoo parlor to be your spell checker.  He may be able to recreate Van Gogh's "Starry Night" on your back, but he was too busy finding new body parts to pierce to ever get his GED.  Meaning he probably can't spell "GED."

The real "tradgedy"? It'll still be misspelled when she's 80.

So please...  if you're going to add text to your tat, type everything into Microsoft Word and hit the spell check button first.  And learn the goddamn difference between "to," "too," and "two"... and "your" and "you're."   

 Idiot.

That way you don't have to explain that you actually went to Clemson University when your grandchildren ask where the hell Clemons is.

I'm assuming he's not an English major.

Check out this gallery of some geniuses who tried to look like bad asses, and ended up looking like dumb asses.  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/01/28/misspelled-tattoos-perman_n_439993.html

And if you can't spot every single one of the errors in these tattoos, please don't bother getting one of your own.  And please don't reproduce.  You're bringing evolution to a screeching halt.

Happy Birthday, Beer Can!

New Jersey's Gottfried Krueger Brewing Company churned out the world's first beer can in 1935. The experiment took off and American drinkers haven't looked back since -- nowadays choosing cans over bottles for the majority of the 22 gallons of beer they each drink per year, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.

Source: Live Science

You can forever thank Gottfried Krueger for videos like this:



Or get creeped out because of videos like this:

Dungeons? OK. Dragons? Hell no.

Dungeons and Dragons has been banned in Wisconsin prisons... because Waupun prison thinks it promotes gang-related activity.

Have you ever seen the people who play D&D?  They're nerds.  Like this guy:

12-sided die not pictured

That's not a real dagger.  I think it's a paper towel tube covered in duct tape.  Here's what a gang of nerds looks like:

NERDS!!!!!

Not scary.  Unless you're the Alpha Betas and you really want to win the Greek Games. 

Now here's what happens when you have a real gang:

This guy apparently forgot to use his Magic Shield of Alagor before rolling hit points.  What a n00b

See the difference? 
Click the link below for the full story...
http://www.wkowtv.com/global/story.asp?s=11876814

Joe Walsh vs. Joe Walsh

Hey!  How ya DOIN'?

Musician Joe Walsh schools Republican politician Joe Walsh about copyright infringement: http://www.thresq.com/2010/01/joe-walsh-republican-eagles-copyright.html

Dumbest place to be a peeping tom? Strip club.

Hmmm... you just paid the $10 cover to get in to the strip club and now you want to see some naked ladies.  Do you:

A) Grab some dollar bills and head to the stage.
B) Bust out some $20's and get some lapdances.
C) Break into the crawlspace in the ceiling to spy on the already naked women in their dressing room.

Apparently this guy chose poorly: http://blog.seattlepi.com/seattle911/archives/192357.asp

Everything you learned on TV is wrong...

OK, not EVERYTHING.  But there are at least these seven things that you think you know about police procedure that are completely wrong.

http://cdn-www.cracked.com/phpimages/article/0/5/9/17059.jpg?v=1

Remember these the next time you get arrested and demand your phone call.

And know that if that hooker is really a cop - she doesn't have to tell you until you're already in handcuffs.  Jail-type handcuffs, not the fun kind.

Leno = Hitler?

Is Jay Leno the Hitler of Late Night?  This guy makes an interesting argument in that direction...

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704375604575023132215883398.html?mod=googlenews_wsj

Have it your way... if your way involves getting drunk. And you know it does.

You spend a lot of time at bars destroying your liver.  You spend a lot of time eating fast food to destroy your arteries.  Now you can kill two birds (and possibly yourself) with one stone... one delicious flame-broiled stone.

Meet: the Whopper Bar: 
http://www.usatoday.com/money/industries/food/2010-01-21-burger-king-beer_N.htm

Prince + VIkings = WTF?

OK, so I've always known that musical god Prince is from Minneapolis.  It's even an old Chris Rock joke that the only two black people in Minnesota are Prince and Kirby Puckett.

But apparently now the Purple One is a fan of the Purple and Gold.  And as much as we all hate the Vikings, when I heard that Prince - F**KING PRINCE! - the guy who wrote "Let's Go Crazy," "Purple Rain," "Gett Off," and "Pussy Control" had written a song for the Vikes... I thought, "Holy crap.  Prince is awesome.  This song is going to be awesome.  Even if it is about the stupid damn Vikings.  Oh no, what if this song is so good it makes me like the Vikings?"

No worries.

It seems that the Viking Vortex of Suck is doing its damage this year.  First they get Brett Favre.  Then they walk all over the rest of the NFC North (your Packers and my Bears).  And now this...

Wow. The Vikings have actually made Prince suck. I hate the Vikings even more now. And I pray that they lose to the Saints this weekend, so we never have to hear that piece of crap song again.