Worst Commercials in America

The Consumerist recently awarded their winners of the Worst Ads in America.  Just in case you haven't experienced the nails-on-chalkboard, nausea-inducing, want-to-punch-inanimate-objects-in-the-face joy of these commercials... here are a few of the winners.

The Worst Ad in America:
Anyone else remember the bald guy as the neighbor from "The Single Guy"? Anyone else even remember "The Single Guy"?


Most Grating Performance From a Human:


Celebrity Who Must Have Lost the Most Money During the Housing Crash:
Jimmy Johnson is not only pimping supposedly johnson-enlarging pills, but he's such a pseudo-celeb that he has to make it clear that he's not the race car driver Jimmy Johnson... but they put him in front of a racecar wearing a racing jumpsuit.


Creepiest Commercial:
One word: Catheters.

My Three Songs: 09/30/10

1. Red Rider - Lunatic Fringe
2. Nazareth - Hair of the Dog
3. ZZ Top - Pearl Necklace

Theme :: Wilma Flintstone.  The red-headed, pearl necklace-wearing wife of Fred Flintstone made her TV debut with the rest of the modern stone-age family on this day in 1960.

I always liked Betty better.

Yabba Dabba Doo!

Today is the 50th Anniversary of the Flintstones premiering on ABC in prime time.  Time to celebrate with songs featuring "rock" or "stone" in the title for the Noon Lunch Whistle.  The Flintstones was not only the first prime time cartoon, leading to current classics like The Simpsons and South Park, but it also gave us Betty Rubble.

My Three Songs: 09/28/10

1. J. Geils Band - Love Stinks
2. Bon Jovi - You Give Love a Bad Name
3. Alice Cooper - No More Mr. Nice Guy

Theme :: Nominees for the upcoming induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

My Three Songs: 09/27/10

1. Van Halen - Feel Your Love Tonight 
2. Bad Company - Run with the Pack 
3. Ted Nugent - Fred Bear 

Theme :: Monday Night Football - Packers at the Bears.  Catch the game on WAPL.

My Three Songs: 09/24/10

1. AC/DC - Big Balls
2. Pearl Jam - Yellow Ledbetter
3. Lynyrd Skynyrd - Free Bird

Theme :: Big Bird.  Muppet Show and Sesame Street creator Jim Henson was born on this day in 1936.

Today's  My Three Songs was brought to you by the letters M, S, and the number 3.

My Three Songs: 09/23/10

1. Pink Floyd - Money
2. Head East - Never Been Any Reason
3. Metallica - Until It Sleeps

Theme :: Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps.  The sequel to the 80's "Greed Is Good" classic hits theaters tomorrow.  It could be awesome (the return of Gordon Gekko!).  Or it could be a big pile of suck (Shia LaBeouf???).  I'm hoping it's good.

Halle Berry is Hot

OK, to get the awful thought of Steven Tyler judging American Idol out of our heads... here's Halle Berry. 

So hot I can even forgive that Catwoman movie.

My Three Songs: 09/22/10

1. Aerosmith - Dream On
2. Tom Petty - American Girl
3. Billy Idol - Rebel Yell

Theme :: Steven Tyler officially announced as one of the new judges on American Idol this season. 

Laughing all the way to the bank.

My Three Songs: 09/21/10

1. Tesla - What You Give
2. Ugly Kid Joe - Everything About You
3. Bob Seger - Her Strut

Theme :: What About Bob?  The film's star, Bill Murray, celebrates his birthday today.

I'm sailing!

My Three Songs: 09/20/10

1. Bon Jovi - Bad Medicine (from the album, "New Jersey")
2. Motley Crue - Dr. Feelgood
3. The Doors - Roadhouse Blues

Theme: House M.D.  The Fox series returns tonight for its 7th season tonight.

Here are some pictures of Olivia Wilde.  You're welcome.

My Three Songs: 09/17/10

1. AC/DC - It's a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock and Roll)
2. John Mellencamp - Small Town
3. Rainbow - Man on the Silver Mountain

Theme:  Long John Silver.  This Sunday is "Talk Like a Pirate Day."  Yarrrrr...

Drink Whiskey. Save the Earth.

Want to help save the earth and still get drunk?  Scottish scientists are using the byproducts of the whiskey-making process to create biofuel.  And it's better than ethanol which needs crops to be grown specifically to harvest the fuel.  The whiskey-based biofuel, butanol, gives 30% more output than ethanol, is created from the waste products that we wouldn't use anyway, and can be used in your car's existing engine!
Click here for the full story.

My Three Songs: 09/16/10

1. Journey - Wheel in the Sky
2. Led Zeppelin - The Ocean
3. Accept - Balls to the Wall

Theme: Things that are blue (the sky, the ocean, and occasionally balls).

Pictured: sexual frustration.  Or an extreme close-up of a Smurf.

Countdown to CoCo

Who really saved the rebels in Star Wars?

This Guy.

Yeah.  It wasn't Luke.  Not Han Solo.  It was that guy.  Read the evidence here.

Night of the Living Trekkies

What do nerds love? Star Trek? Check. Zombies? Check. Zombie Trekkies? Now you've got something.

Remember: This trailer is for a book... a BOOK!

My Three Songs: 09/15/10

1. Rush - Red Barchetta (from "Moving Pictures")
2. Aerosmith - Love in an Elevator
3. Motley Crue - Shout at the Devil

Theme: The upcoming movie, Devil, about a bunch of strangers stuck in an elevator with Satan.  It's "from the mind of M. Night Shyamalan which probably isn't a good thing.

My Three Songs: 09/14/10

1. Red Rider - Lunatic Fringe
2. Blue Oyster Cult - Don't Fear the Reaper
3. Joe Walsh - Vote For Me

Theme: Today's Wisconsin primary elections.  Vote red (Republican) or vote blue (Democrat)... but please vote!!!

My Three Songs: 09/13/10

1. Black Crowes - Twice as Hard
2. Queensryche - Jet City Woman
3. Van Halen - Feel Your Love Tonight

Theme: Monday Night Football - Ravens v. Jets.

Congrats to Tyler Westenberger of Oshkosh for figuring out the theme.

Zombie Roadkill!

I don't have FearNet... but this looks too bad to not be awesome.

My Three Songs: 09/09/10

1. Rolling Stones - Brown Sugar (from "Sticky Fingers")
2. KISS - Lick It Up
3. The Cars - Good Times Roll

Theme: "Finger Lickin' Good," the long time slogan for Kentucky Fried Chicken.  Founder Colonel Harlan Sanders was born on this day in 1890.

Zombies 101

Here for the job interview.

University of Baltimore is offering a class on zombies.  Just what we need: another excuse for college kids to shamble through life wishing they had brains... braaaaaaaiiinnssss!!!

I totally would have taken this class though.  Awesome.

Deck the Halls with Boughs of Weiland

Huh?  Scott Weiland is reportedly working on a solo album of traditional Christmas songs... which will feature "traditional jazz style" music, with strings, upright bass, horns and piano on variety of Christmas classics. I can't think of anything so strange since David Bowie did his "Little Drummer Boy" duet with Bing Crosby.



Check out the Weiland story here.

My Three Songs: 09/08/10

1. Queen - Bicycle Race
2. Rush - Fly By Night
3. Pink Floyd - Brain Damage / Eclipse (from "Dark Side of the Moon")

Theme: E.T. - The Extra Terrestrial.  Henry Thomas who starred as Elliott in E.T. turns 39 today.

Rush Hashanah

VH1 Classic is celebrating the Jewish new year with "RUSH Hashanah" - 24 hours of Rush, including their excellent documentary "Beyond the Lighted Stage."

Rush Hashanah runs sundown to sundown, starting at 6pm today.  Check out VH1 Classic's Rush Hashanah schedule here.

My Three Songs: 09/07/10

1. Whitesnake - Slow and Easy
2. Led Zeppelin - Black Dog
3. Ted Nugent - Cat Scratch Fever

Theme :: Animals.  C'mon... snake, dog, cat.  That was an easy one.

I think this is what would happen if they all mated. Sweet dreams.

Look What the Rapist Dragged In?

Today on the Noon Lunch Whistle I got a request for two from Poison: "Fallen Angel" and "I Want Action."  Which led to the revelation that Bret "Rock of Love" Michaels may be condoning rape.

I've been listening to Poison for over 20 years.  Look What the Cat Dragged In and Open Up and Say Ahh... were two of the first cassettes I ever owned.  "I Want Action" was released as a single in 1987.  It's a great song about checking out the hot girls and wanting to get laid - something every straight guy in America can identify with.

But it wasn't until today that I noticed the following lyrics:

I can't wait to get my hands on them
I won't give up until they give in

Is it just me or did Bret Michaels just tell us all that he'll keep pressuring some girl to have sex until she finally says "yes"?  OK, maybe that's not so bad.  Lots of young horny guys ask their girlfriends for sex, the girls say no, so the guys wait and ask again later.  Maybe it works, maybe it doesn't, but you're still trying to get some.  Fine.  But then the following lines say this...

Now I'm not looking for a love that lasts
I need a shot and I need it fast
If I can't have her, I'll take her and make her.

Yep.  Bret Michaels just sang that if the girl says no, he'll kidnap and rape her.  WTF?  Am I the only one who's noticed this?

My Three Songs: 09/03/10

1. Rush - Working Man
2. BoDeans - Good Work
3. Loverboy - Working for the Weekend

Theme: Labor Day Weekend.  Have a great one!  Next My Three Songs will be on Tuesday.

My Three Songs: 09/02/10

1. Van Halen - Feel Your Love Tonight
2. Motley Crue - Live Wire
3. Kiss - Rock and Roll All Night

Theme : Kiss concert tonight at the Marcus Amphitheater in Milwaukee.  See you there.

My Three Songs: 09/01/10

1. Def Leppard - Animal
2. Jackyl - The Lumberjack
3. Styx - Fooling Yourself

Theme: The Sheboygan County Fair, going on this weekend.  The fair features livestock exhibitions, lumberjack/chainsaw carving displays, and a performance from Styx on Sunday.